of lazy days and writing

I spent the past 5 days just roaming around the house trying to figure out what to do and then falling asleep the following second. Whatever happened to me? Well, to answer my own question, I have been like this ever since the day I found out that I am carrying a new life inside of me. It’s not as if it was my first time for my first child is already 9 years old. But see the gap in between? Nine (9) years is quite long for anyone, I think. It’s like something new is happening to me again as the days unfurl and my body reveals the miracles of bearing a new life once again.

It is a dream come true for us and our family. I have been trying to conceive for the past months just to lead us to frustration at the end of each month. Yet last month, the two red lines in my PT confirmed my hunch. Indeed, it’s a combination of different emotions such as joy, fear, triumph and hope of becoming new parents. My husband’s feelings might have been more intense than mine for it will be his first time to see an image from his own or maybe a combination of our features. I might be confusing you at this point but to have a clear cut idea of the whole thing I am going to tell you this upfront: I have been a single mom before I got married.

Life was bearable even before I met my husband. I had my daughter even before I graduated in college and she made me stronger and was my silver lining through all the turmoils and the dark trials of the past. If there was a more glorious reason to finish studies aside from my more selfish ones like shame for not finishing my course and just for a great escape from sadness, it would be my daughter’s future. It was easier saying it than doing it for the degree that I have chosen wasn’t all that simple. Yet the 4 years of college went by swiftly though it was not hassle-free. And graduation wasn’t the direct answer to my prayers for finding a job would be tedious for the following months to follow.

The first job I had was being a freelance academic writer. A few weeks before graduation, I started to write to a company who hired me as one of their writers. Writing came natural for me though I cannot totally say that I am good at it. But the job wasn’t that easy. There were various topics which range from the history of blackAmerican slaves, decriminalizing prostitution, comparison of Dracula (the book) and Bram Stoker’s Dracula (the movie), dark matter to protein folding. The incentives were compensating, I admit but the time spent for research could not be paid. Each 250-word page is worth a hundred pesos and is doubled if it is considered as a rush job. The deadline for non-rush jobs is 3 days. The topics are given to each writer so we do not get to choose the topics that we like. It was not bad, yes but I got the heck of writing for other people who should be doing the writing themselves.

Then I got a teaching job. And after a year of writing academic essays occasionally, I quit the “freelance” academic writing job. I have been teaching for 4 years now. Until last year, some time around early February, I felt my hands itch for writing. Then I “googled” the terms “essays philippines”. It was then that I found Essays.ph. There was not a hint of hesitation when I started signing up and answering the application form. A few days flew and I received an email containing the instructions on further screening. So I wrote the 500-word article about blogging being the writer’s new best friend. I was too excited to know the results and was checking the forums every now and then. To my great surprise, my article was accepted and my brain just couldn’t stop thinking about the first topic that I am going to write about.The good thing with Essays.ph is that they are Philippine-based and the staff are very accomodating. Also, the writers get to choose the topics that they are interested in writing about. They provide a lot of room for improvements and challenges that would make writers strive to show the best that they’ve got. I have learned to love Essays.ph and its environment.

So there, writing has become a part of me. Even now as I continue treading on a new chapter of my life, writing and Essays.ph will continue to stay with me and my family. Though lately, my lazy days have overcome my will for writing, Essays.ph will forever remain within me.

Happy anniversary Essays.ph and neverending thanks to all the assistance that you have provided for those who really needed them! I know that it wasn’t just me who needed additional income.There are a thousand others who are willing to do whatever it takes just to write informative articles for additional compensation to support their families or for the mere reason of enjoying writing. Although I may not come to grand EBs, my heart will always be with you, Essays.ph. Your place is one great opportunity to unite everyone from the different islands of the Philippines!

a day in a teacher’s life…

it was like being hayden kho for a moment, when he felt the surge of water atop his head- i was disappointed, devastated, discouraged…

it was announced during the meeting of all contractuals and the substitute instructors that there would be a raise for contractuals and new instructors alike… we grew hopeful and we started planning of a lot of things that could be done with the raise… they said it with such matter-of-fact way that does not give any room for disapproval… a 2k-raise that could have done so much on the lives of the mentors who devote their time and capacities to share, impart and positively affect the lives of the future generation, a raise that was denied for selfish reasons… they may say all that they want to just disappoint us but they can never say enough to ease the hurt that they have instilled on our hearts… how could they have left us hanging? what were they thinking or do they ever do think for our welfare – for the welfare of the people who tried to serve the university with utmost sincerity and unquestionable passion? i say selfish for they never even gave it a second thought… and just so easily they dumped the whole idea… and just as easily, i am planning to have something new and not settle for anything less like this administration…

update on crazy twitch

Well, well it’s been a week I guess since I first posted on not having those intense orgasms that I usually have. And would you know it, I am ON again! Haha. And I was right when I said that it was just stress of the packing and unpacking that we did in the intent of transferring to a new home. With everything almost set in our new nest (including my daughter), I am now ever ready for any steamy and wild session that could come across our minds anytime.

crazy twitch

I and my husband have been together for almost 16 months now and there never was a problem when it comes to sex. We make slow, long and passionate love every night and on odd times when we like it. I always thought that he was awesome in bed. He really is sensitive and can make love to me with unleashed vigor. I never had a problem having intense orgasms until– lately.

I thought that it was odd for me to have very light peak times. Unlike before when orgasms come like very healthy and surging spasms, now it seems oh so fleeting. I admit that I am a bit worried about it since I do not want him to think that I am losing my affection for him and for sex for that matter.  Well, whatever is the reason behind this change in me, I am sure we’ll find a way to resolve this.

I am setting my mind for a hot and awesome lovemaking tonight. And with a lot of hope, I’ll be able to achieve that peak that seemed so elusive.

Hello world, juvz11 here!

a kiss after the cake "ritual" taken during our wedding reception

a kiss after the cake "ritual" taken during our wedding reception

I had this tremendous feeling of writing today.  I have been writing all my life — even when my job would not call for it, I would still write.  I have written songs for my love, for joy and most especially for my sorrows. It does not mean that I am a sad and lonely person but obstacles and sometimes pain just tread my way.  And writing for me can sometimes be a therapy for my painful heart.

For starters, I am a newly married woman looking for a way to appease the stressful married life. I do not mean to say stress in a totally destructive or negative way. The stress that I feel at times can sometimes lead me to a good feeling later on. I will also be writing about the roller coaster ride of my life without ever planning to write about the past.  Although the past has shaped me into what and who I am right now, I would rather focus on the steps that I am taking now with my family; the steps that will take us to a happy and a successful family life.

I was a single woman when I met the love of my life. It was a relationship that I did not expect the least to be taken seriously (by either one of us), much more to lead us to make a lifetime commitment.  Being a happy-go-lucky person, I was afraid of commitments in the first place. And being a single mom added to my poor judgment with men.  They were all alike -in my opinion- and could not be trusted, much less have a heart for a single mom like me. Yet I was blessed, and I am still. Through the storms and hurdles that me and my love have undergone, we made it through. He accepted me with my past  and never cared for what other people might think of him. I will always be thankful for that fact. I was transformed in the most beautiful ways. The least that I can say is that I am now a better person that what I had been in the past.  The transformation came naturally when he loved me without conditions.  I knew that I was loved even before I met him, but He made my love an instrument into making me the best person that I can be.  I am now totally committed to the person who paved the way to the brighter side of my life.

We got married last April 15, 2009 (that makes us barely a month and a half from the time of this writing). Our married life is not perfect.  But more often, we feel so in love with each other to the point that we can’t think of any reasons to fight, hurt each other and sacrifice the love we feel.

Just like my love, my daughter is one of the most beautiful things that has happened in my life.  She will turn nine this 31st of October. The 8 years since the time that I saw the most beautiful creature in the world — with her pink cheeks, soft, soft face, beautiful eyebrows which look like each strand of hair was carefully planted in place and wrinkly arms and legs — seemed to pass unnoticed.  She is growing to be a sweet child and hopefully will grow to be a very loving one.

The three of us will be starting a new chapter of our lives together soon.  Expect tears, joy, success, failures and much love in this blog.

See ya around!